I just know I go to bed at night crying and feeling so alone and hopeless, wanting him to be here to hold me. Then I wake up and I feel resentment and hurt because he wasn’t.
Usually I try not to dwell on all the bad or negative in my life, but last night I went down the list of everything that was hurting me and bothering me, and it was very overwhelming. I guess that’s why people say don’t dwell on things too much. Like I said I am not trying to, but it is just consuming me. And the worst part is that most of it there is not a thing I can do to change it. And even things I can change I have been trying to for months, and it is not working. So I guess that is why I feel lost and desperate.
There are just too many things going on that I do not know what to do anymore. If it were just one or two things I could probably handle it a lot easier and at least try to come up with a plan. But the things that I have going on are just overwhelming and too much to try and tackle.
I have not posted much on here and it is just as well anyway. But if I do start posting more I will probably just try to stick with one thing at a time because otherwise it would turn into a book...
